Invisible Wall

Being an outsider is never be easy. You live in the same circle, but it feels like there is an invisible wall between you and the others. You never know what it is. Sometimes, you say to your self  "oh, there's only in your mind. That thing (the invisible wall) never exist. Please". I keep saying that to my face.

But, there is a time when you believe that the wall is exist. Well, I find it hard.

 

Once, I consult this to a friend, he said "come on, all you have to do is blending, mingle, open up your self to others, be lively, smile. Come on Sar, get a life!!". Ha, my buddy is a jerk, I know. He keep telling me the worst possibilities and best problem solving at the same time. He said, "You keep telling me that you live in the shadow of someone else's. No, you live in the shadow of yourself. You keep everything inside of you. you love to listen someone's story, but you never share, rarely share", and bleh bleh bleh.

The conclusion is, maybe I'm overthink of something, it overwhelmes me, then it burden me. I need something to be blamed on then I realize that is nobody's fault then I made scenarios in my head then I made invisible wall in my mind. Yeah, maybe he's right. The wall is never existed, and I have to mingle, smile, talk to the others, share...

Wait, mingle? I'm afraid of people. Hellooooo.

Adieu.